A Moment That Opened My Eyes
I remember watching my son whom I love begin to disrespect me beyond my imagination. It was like a level 8 magnitude earthquake destroying my whole world.
On the outside, it looked like:
- Disrespect
- Defiance
- “Just another angry man”
Later, as I sat with God, He gently peeled back the layers. Underneath the anger, He showed me a boy who never really felt safe enough to say:
“I’m hurt. I feel like I’m failing. I don’t know how to be what everyone wants from me.”
That’s when something shifted in me.
It wasn’t just “a bad attitude.”
It wasn’t just “men being men.”
It was a war over his identity, his voice, and his heart.
It’s not ironic that so many men seem late-blooming, shut down, angry, or under attack.
It’s evidence that the enemy is terrified of what a healed man, a present father, and a rooted son can become.
When we look at the men in our lives—sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, cousins—it can feel “ironic” or frustrating that:
- They often mature later than we do (no disrespectful here fellas).
- They’re told to be strong but given few safe places to be soft (we contribute to this too ladies).
- They’re praised for providing, but rarely taught how to process pain (what do we teach them as parents).
- They carry anger, shame, or numbness from things they never had words for (lacking emotional articulation).
But when we understand the spiritual fight of this life, it stops being ironic and starts making sense.
If a father is often the first lived demonstration of love, protection, and authority in a child’s life, then of course hell will target him. And target him specifically with great intentionality.
A Father as a Picture of God’s Heart
Psalm 103:13–18 gives us a glimpse of God’s character:
Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him…
This describes a God who:
- Knows our frame
- Remembers we are dust
- Is slow to anger and rich in love
- Keeps His covenant and shows love to generations
- Who is forgiving, humble, and kind
This is God’s heart—a tender, strong, steady Father.
On earth, our men—especially the ones who become fathers—are often the first face through which children learn:
- “Is love safe?”
- “Is authority safe?”
- “Is protection real?”
- “Am I worth staying for?”
- “Am I enough?”
No wonder there’s such a fight over them.
For Women Reading This
You may have watched the men in your life:
- Withdraw instead of communicate
- Explode instead of explain
- Numb out instead of reach out
- Fold instead of fighting
Maybe your father didn’t reflect God’s compassion at all. Maybe your son or husband is stuck in a cycle he hates but doesn’t know how to leave. It’s hard to fight a battle that you’re blinded to.
Maybe you’re tired, disappointed, or even angry.
Here’s the tension:
You can be honest about the impact of their choices and still see the spiritual battle behind their struggle.
You are not called to fix them.
But you are invited to intercede for them.
The world suggests I can only be one of two things: weak for acknowledging his struggle or denying my own pain.
Sis, rip that S off your chest and join the fight.
What if, instead of only saying:
“He’s just like that.”
“Men are always late to grow up.”
“That’s just his personality.”
…we paused and asked:
“Lord, what is he fighting that I can’t see?”
“Where is the enemy attacking his sense of worth, sonship, and calling?”
“How are You inviting me to pray, not just react?”
That doesn’t mean we ignore real harm or unhealthy patterns.
Boundaries are still holy and necessary.
But it does mean we recognize there’s a spiritual layer the enemy would love for us to overlook.
For Men Reading This
You may feel:
- Misunderstood
- Pressured to be strong but never “weak” and “vulnerable”
- Unsure how to be a good man or father when you didn’t have one as a model or even felt dropped by other men
- Haunted by mistakes, shame, or anger you’ve never said out loud
You are not a project.
You are a son. His son. The son of a King.
The same God described in Psalm 103 is compassionate, patient, and merciful. He is a Father to you first. This is before you ever become a father to anyone else.
You’re allowed to heal. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to say, “I need God to father me here.”
Speak to God in your language, with your tone, and let your hearts posture welcome Him in.
How Do We Intercede for Our Men?
We stop calling it “ironic” and start recognizing it as strategic warfare.
We intercede by:
- Calling their names before God more than we complain about them before people.
- Praying for their identity—that they would know themselves as beloved sons, not just performers or providers.
- Covering their mind and heart—against shame, confusion, addictive patterns, and hopelessness.
- Blessing their fatherhood—whether present, future, or in repair, asking God to align their character with His own.
Intercession is not begging God to care.
It’s agreeing with the fact that He already does.
Pause & Reflect (For Both Women and Men)
- Who is one man God is highlighting to you right now—a son, husband, father, brother, cousin, friend? What do you see him wrestling with?
- How has the presence or absence of a father (or father-figure) shaped your view of God? Where has it made it harder to trust His love?
- Where do you sense the enemy trying to distort the image of God’s father-heart—in your family, your relationships, or your own story?
A Light to Carry
Light to carry:
It’s not ironic. It’s a battle. I am not helpless. I can stand in the gap in prayer. I believe that God is still revealing His Father-heart to the men I love and to me.
You can join us on a 3-day journey to intercede for our men. Sign up here — > I’m Standing in the Gap!
If you simply have a prayer request submit it here
Your Stewardess,
Tracy
Let’s steward the cabin well as God is the pilot.
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